Breast Cancer at 36!!!!!! As I type those words it still shocks me. I had a totally different post planned, like what we did over the summer, and knitting projects I finished, and of course our annual trip to Maine.. However those posts all have taken a back seat for a bit. I thought about starting a new blog about just Breast Cancer but decided that no, I want to include everything right here in this space as well as keeping it updated on all the things I have always brought here. Reason being Breast Cancer has now become part of my life and I don’t want it to have a separate blog/identity or as I also am thinking it’s own “power”. So let me back track a few months to the beginning.

Back in April I went to the OB for a check up and was concerned about a lump I felt on the right breast. I saw a PA and not my regular Dr since they got in me fairly quickly when I mentioned the lump. Well the PA said it was a cyst and not to worry. HMM I said are you sure?  Shouldn’t we have a mammo ordered or the Dr to come in and see? No, No was her response. Since there was no pain and just the lump she insisted it was a cyst. Watch it, if it hurts or changes give me a call where her departing words.  So what did I know. WELL end of June beginning of July the lump seemed to get bigger and the nipple retraced. Still not overly concerned I waited to see if things went back to normal. After a few weeks and after returning home from vacation I called and made another appt to see my regular person/midwife knowing she would get the Dr in the room if there was any question to what now was going on. This was Aug23 on Aug24 I was in our local hospital having a mammo and ultra sound. I was told instantly that something looked concerning and an MRI was ordered for Monday Aug27.. A very long weekend to wait and wonder and Aug 26 was our 17th wedding anniversary. Thanks to my great friend Cheri I got my tests scheduled very quickly but the waiting was torture. I will never forget the date of Tuesday Aug 28th the phone rang at 8:30am and it was the OB office. Your Mri doesn’t look good and I’m sorry to tell you a biopsy has been scheduled for Aug 30th. I was in shock and remember asking what are they thinking it is? Cancerous tumors was her response. I was ok getting the news over the phone and actually prefer that but I immediately felt like my life was being sucked away from me. Two children where still sleeping in the next room and one was at volleyball practice needing to be picked up in an hour. Hubby came in when he heard me get off the phone and he new by my face and yes tears that wouldn’t stop that our fears had just come true. My friend Cheri who works in the mri office called me minutes later knowing the results as well so I was able to have another shoulder to cry on and find out exactly what was in my report. Multi-Centric Breast Cancer and no there was a .1% chance it was a false positive.. I didn’t know how to react, mad that in April I was brushed aside and now we are approaching September, cringing having to go to my parents house and tell them horrific news, and getting thru that day in order to tell our kids that night. Everything about that day will forever SUCK. I went in for the biopsy which wasn’t to bad during but after not so fun. Two spots where biopsied which meant two numbing needles, and two cuts. It’s now  Sept 9 and I still can’t wear a normal bra only a bandeau top or sports bra thanks to the incisions still tender and lots of bruising. That night was an emotional night as where the next few nights since now it was labor day weekend and my surgeon appt which had been scheduled right from the beginning was on Sept4. Sept 4 was another LONG day of waiting since our appt wasn’t until 3pm. I felt sick on the ride over and was praying it was a cureable form of Breast Cancer since we had been told all along they pretty much new malignant was going to be the outcome. Yup that’s what he said. Both tumors came back positive and both where the same type of cancer cells. No it wasn’t a form of Breast Cancer I had feared. So a slight win for us. Now comes more waiting biopsy results are still coming in so we again only had more pieces of the puzzle.ugh. I was told we would be very busy with lots of appts and tests. The phone ran Wed Sept5 all day with when and where I needed to be for the next two weeks. It was the first day of school and supposed to be a happy time and all I could think was I hate this and my life is no longer going to be the same. Thurs the 6th we met our Oncologist and really liked her, she told us what she thought the treatment was going to be but guess what biopsy results where still coming back and we still didn’t know what type it was, are you kidding me? She ordered a pet scan for the next morning. Great more needles and IV’s I pray I get better at those but so far my luck isn’t great. It started with the mri they hit a nerve putting that iv in for the contrast, yes and you guessed it at the pet scan the vein in my hand wasn’t going to cooperate so I was going to get stuck again. They did give me a few min and tried to do the glucose test by pricking my finger, but no  blood wanted to come out so that was going to be on the iv too. yea me. The lovely drink I had to drink didn’t want to stay down so I was switched to water to avoid vomiting. The third stick of the day but second iv went in thankfully but of course annoyed me the whole hr. Thankfully they removed that before putting me in the “tube” That part I didn’t mind at all and just kept praying no other spots lit up. Well that night we got a call another win for us nothing else lit up and all the lab work was finally back. So what I have been dealt in this total uprooting of my quite little life is Multi-Centric invasive ductal breast cancer. What a mouthful;) we know that both tumors came back 95%estrogen positive and negative on progesterone and her2. Supposedly this is what we where hoping for and it’s stage 2a or b which is decided on tumor size. I will have 8 treatments of Chemo followed by double masectomy/reconstruction, radiation, and probably hormone therapy.It’s going to be a long haul but I’m really trying to be positive and strong. I will beat this because losing isn’t an option for me or my family but it’s going to be a brutal ride. So this weeks schedule is the heart tests needed before chemo, donating my hair since its really long, arm port being put in and appts with the plastic surgeon and radiation oncologist. Our heads are spinning and everything is moving at warp speed. I’m trying to keep things as normal as possible but some days it’s hard. The kids so far are handling things well but I know when I start to look and feel sick that may change for all of us. If your still with me after this long post please remember to check your boobs and know your own body and don’t ever let someone brush you aside. I will be dealing with that pa at some point because I want to make sure she doesn’t do this to someone else. Thankfully I was lucky and we still caught it early even though it is aggressive and rare but who knows maybe in April there was only one tumor. Stay tuned for the big haircut. I’ve decided that it’s going away on my terms and my mom came up with the thought of donating to locks of love. One way to give back and help someone else. It’s ironic that I will be the hairdresser with no hair. But hey it is what it is.

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